10 Questions with Nicolle Griffin

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

• I can remember the exact day I decided I wanted to become a psychologist. I was 13 years old and in Year 8 at high school, sitting in homeroom (i.e. roll call) with one of my friends. I don’t recall exactly which national or international situation we were perplexed by, but to our early adolescent minds, something so extraordinary and bizarre had happened that we both decided to dedicate our lives to finding out the ‘why’ – why do people do the things that they do? Why do people do things that don’t seem to make logical sense? Why do people do things that seem to make a situation worse? I stuck with my goal of becoming a Psychologist. My friend however, changed paths and is now a nurse 😊

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional/personal development?

• Re: ADHD and Autistic clients - neurodivergency. In the neurodivergent world, having a formal diagnosis or label such as ADHD or Autism is very important - it means identity and community. As a Psych who has spent a lot of time working and socialising with other psychs and therapists, I have come to learn there are A LOT of therapists out there who believe that all diagnostic labels are bad, unhelpful, and stigmatizing.
  
  These therapists may tell you that they "don't believe" in labels... concerningly, some therapists still don't 'believe' in ADHD or Autism. Or, they may tell you that they work “holistically” by seeing the whole person, and not a 'disorder'. Although we agree that we don't see people as 'disorders', this is a well intentioned sentiment, but plainly unhelpful for neurodivergent adults. Because if a neurodivergent label means identity and community, then not labelling the ADHD or Autistic experience for what it is... is extremely dismissive and insensitive. So my approach is to work with low mood, high anxiety, and any other difficulties within the context of being ADHD or Autistic, not as somehow parallel or separate issues.
  
  And as a small tip to the neurodivgent, ADHD and Autistic women out there, even if you choose to work with a different therapist, make sure to ask them whether they think your ADHD or Autism is important in your work together, and avoid the ones who say it doesn't matter or it isn't important. Your neurodivergency does matter, and it is important.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

• Women who are "smart, but scattered". Those of you who try really hard, but never feel like you are 'good enough'. People who are kind, caring and compassionate when it comes to everyone else... but harsh, critical and an absolute bully to themselves. This is a harsh existence until you come to accept yourself, feel compassion for yourself, and take care of yourself better! Body and mind.

• What method/s do you use?

• There are lots of fancy terms and therapy methods and techniques I have been trained in. But how much does any of that mean to non-therapists?? To distill my methods down into their most basic elements, what we will do together will consist of:
  
  Conversation.
  Reflection.
  Acceptance.
  Skill building.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

• I will feel you are making progress when you start prioritising self-care, wellbeing and joy, and, you stop (or at least decrease) beating yourself up for things that are beyond your control. Will you also start to feel you are making progress at that point?
  
  If you are like a lot of my clients, it will probably take you longer than it takes me to recognise that you are in fact doing 'good enough'. But together we will get you there : )

• How has therapy made you a better person?

• I now understand how much similiarity and commonality there is between people's experiences of stress, trauma, suffering and/or mental illness. People are unique. Experiences are unique. But suffering and mental illness is not unique. What I mean by that is the impact that stress, trauma, suffering and mental illness has on people is actually quite similar throughout the population, no matter what their actual symptoms are, or what unique experience/s caused these symptoms.
  
  Stress, trauma, suffering and mental illness all result in changes to our eating patterns (too much or too little), our sleeping patterns (too much or too little), our energy and motivation (too much or too little), changes our thought patterns, harms our self-image, increases our bad habits and poor coping mechanisms (use or at least excessive use of things like: alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, work, shopping, gambling, internet use, staring at our mobile phones, avoidance, isolating ourselves, withdrawing from friends and family), and decreases our ability to care for ourselves and use productive coping skills (including life-enriching activities such as connection with friends and family, exercise, nurtition, sleep, recreation, doing things that bring you joy).
  
  As both a person who has been to therapy and a therapist, I know how easy it is to get off track. If we stop paying attention to ourselves, modern day humans tend to end up doing more life-harming activities than life-enriching activities. As a therapist, my work with clients is all about bringing things back into balance. Most of the things I listed under 'bad habits and poor coping mechanisms' are not actually 'bad' in and of themselves. Rather, it is our excessive use, abuse, or reliance on any of these activities that is problematic. Balance and moderation is what I aim for in therapy - never perfection.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

• Seeing clients move from a place of feeling lost, confused, down and anxious towards being confident in themselves and their decisions, taking care of themselves, no longer putting up with bad behaviour (from other adults), and putting themselves first (at least some of the time!)

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

• "Your clothes never wear as well the next day;
  And your hair never falls in quite the same way."
  
  - Absolutely (Story of a Girl), Nine Days.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

• In Western society... isolation, disconnection and loneliness. These appear to be pretty common in the modern world. People move away from their families and communities for education, work or any other reason. We no longer have the support of our extended families on a daily basis, most people work long hours, and we don't tend to speak to their neighbours. People are disconnected from each other and often feel lonely. This increases the likelihood of physical and mental health issues.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

• This might be quite off-track, but since my kids introduced me to Tik Tok, I have come to learn what a powerful platform it is to decrease stigma and increase acceptance of mental health conditions, mental illness and neurodivergency. The value of 'content' created by people with lived-experience is so important to understanding what it is actually like - from the inside. And whilst it may take a mental health professional a whole chapter of a book (or even a whole book!) to explain a concept - a Tik Tok creator with lived experience of mental health or neurodivergency can explain the same concept in a matter of minutes - and make it engaging and entertaining at the same time. I think that is pretty inspiring.