Sometimes I feel resentful that I can't have both.

Question: I used to like my life a lot but recently I've been withdrawn and mope around as if I were homesick. I'm turning 37 soon and don't have any children because my partner doesn't want any more (he has 2 teenagers from his first marriage). It keeps running through my mind that I don't have much time left. I would love to have the experience of being a mum but then I also love the man I'm with. Sometimes I feel resentful that I can't have both. Kerry

Answer: Kerry, it is a perfectly normal biological urge for a woman to want to have her own children and of course at 37, your safe time to have a baby is running out. I suggest that you talk very seriously to your partner about this matter and try to get him to understand your strong feelings. If he is totally insensitive and stubborn about it, then perhaps your relationship with him is not all that you imagine it to be. Whether you're faced with a choice between keeping him and being childless or leaving and finding someone else more inclined to have children, will depend on just how important it is to you. If you do decide to stay with him and forgo children, you may be very resentful, even bitter, when your child bearing opportunity is finally and irretrievably gone.

Answer provided by David White

Back to Public Forum


types of therapy

What is good therapy?

Therapists explore the experiential narratives and existential philosophies that underpin their attitudes and approaches to therapy.



Contributions from writers, artists, philosophers and poets, exploring the questions that help us understand what it means to be human



Practitioners and Friends are invited to be part of the Good Therapy community... learn more about how you can be involved.



Professional and personal development, training workshops, and conferences for psychotherapists, counsellors and psychologists