Liz O'Neill

A conversation with Liz O'Neill

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  I was always drawn to counselling as it felt like a very organic path for me to go down. Growing up, I was often more of a listener than a talker, and was drawn to observing and understanding others. So finding out there was a profession where I could draw on my innate way of being in the world felt like a very easy choice.
  My intrigue in the idea of working in counselling was then cemented due my to own experiences in therapy. Particularly as someone who hasn’t always followed conventional paths, I firsthand experienced how powerful it can be to find support that feels tailored to and respectful of you. That’s what led me to pursue counselling.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  I'm drawn to feminist and anti-oppressive frameworks that locate distress within systems rather than solely within individuals. Judith Herman's work on trauma and the relational conditions for recovery has been a real highlight. I'm also influenced by narrative philosophy; the idea that the stories we tell about ourselves are shaped by power, culture, and context, and that we have the power to author new stories about ourselves which centre self-compassion, reduce shame and increase agency.
  

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I’m particularly interested in the adaptive function of shame, judgement and self-criticism and how they can operate quietly in the background, keeping people stuck. These experiences can begin to shift when met with genuine compassion rather than judgment.
  I’m also deeply interested in grief in its many forms, especially the kinds of loss that are not always named or witnessed, including disenfranchised grief, identity related grief, and the grief that can come with navigating invisible illness'.
  I’m also drawn to the role of the body in therapeutic word, and how much more dialogue people can access when attuning to bodily sensations when appropriate and safe to do so .

• What methods do you use?

  My approach is integrative and led by what each client needs. I draw primarily from Emotion-Focused Individual Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and parts work. I work mainly bottom-up; centring the body, emotions, and lived experience with somatic awareness woven throughout. I hold a systemic lens, always considering the broader context of a person's life rather than locating difficulty within the individual alone.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  It varies enormously and I'm cautious about timelines because progress rarely looks linear. What I tend to see over time is a growing compassion toward themselves, less shame and self-criticism, a greater capacity to sit with difficult emotions rather than avoid them, and a clearer sense of who they are and what they need. I think progress often shows up in daily life before it shows up in the therapy room.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Therapy helped me understand that a lot of what I had experienced as personal failing was actually a reasonable response to systems and the information I was working with at the time.
  It gave me language for things I had been carrying, and helped me develop a relationship with my own emotions and body that I hadn't had before, including being able to step back from myself and approach my experiences with curiosity and compassion.
  It also helped me understand how my neurodivergence and queerness intersected with my meaning making, identity and experience of the world.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  It is an absolute privilege to witness and sit in someone's experience with them in real time. When clients start to advocate for themselves more and speak kinder of their selves and their experiences, it makes my feel heart feel so enormously full and fuels me with fire to keep supporting others.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Absolutely!
  We're not static. Our capacity, tolerance, pain, compassion can shift on a day to day basis. Especially in the face of difficult life transitions, illness and many other factors. I focus on accepting what my body is capable of on each given day and adjusting to those needs as much as possible within my control. It doesn't always go as planned and thats okay!

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  I think one of the most significant challenges we face is a growing sense of disconnection and a decline in meaningful community and belonging. Many people experience a form of thwarted belonging, where the need for connection is present but not fully met.
  
  This is often compounded by systems that individualise distress, leading to shame, isolation, and a sense of not fitting. Therapy can offer a space to reconnect, make sense of experience in context, and rebuild a sense of belonging.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  So many!
  I admire how other humans can translate such complex, layered emotional experiences into such inspiring, digestible and often entertaining art.
  
  The Great Impersonator by Halsey is one of my favourite albums for its raw and expressive depiction of living with chronic illness. It articulates the invisible grief of loosing body capability, managing self-loathing, self-blame and directing anger at the world toward yourself. It is a deeply cathartic listen.
  
  Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is an incredible show in its relatable and often humorous portrayal of mental health, and how easily we can displace unmet emotional needs onto romantic relationships. It speaks to a dynamic many people experience, especially those who grew up romanticising love as a solution to deeper emotional pain of not belonging.