Grant Finlay

A conversation with Grant Finlay

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  I was drawn to counselling after many years working in education, where I saw first-hand how emotional wellbeing shapes every part of a person’s life. I often witnessed students and teachers struggling silently under the weight of stress, loss, and self-doubt, and I wanted to understand how people heal and grow through those experiences. That curiosity became a calling. I retrained as a counsellor to help others find clarity, resilience, and hope. For me, counselling is about more than talking—it’s about creating a safe, respectful space where people can reconnect with their own strength and discover that change, even after great pain, is possible.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  My professional development has been deeply influenced by person centred, trauma informed, and affirmative approaches. I believe every person holds an innate capacity for growth and healing, and my role as a counsellor is to create the conditions where that potential can unfold safely. A person centred philosophy guides me to meet each client with genuine empathy, curiosity, and respect. Being trauma informed reminds me to work gently and collaboratively, always mindful of safety and pacing in the therapeutic process. An affirmative framework underpins my belief in inclusion and authenticity, honouring each client’s identity and lived experience. Together, these philosophies shape a practice that is compassionate, grounded, and deeply human.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I’m especially interested in how people recover from experiences that have left them feeling disconnected from themselves, others, or the world around them. Trauma, grief, and chronic anxiety often leave deep imprints on the mind and body, and I’m fascinated by how these can be safely processed and transformed through therapy. I’m also drawn to the creative and neurobiological aspects of healing—the way the brain can rewire, and the self can rebuild, when given the right support. Ultimately, I’m passionate about helping people find meaning, self-compassion, and resilience as they move through the inevitable challenges of being human.

• What methods do you use?

  I use an integrative approach, combining evidence based and creative methods to meet each person’s unique needs. My primary modalities include Eye Movement Integration Therapy (EMI) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), both of which support the safe processing of traumatic or distressing experiences. I also use Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) to help clients recognise strengths and build practical steps toward change, and parts work to foster self understanding and inner balance. My work is always grounded in person centred principles, ensuring warmth, respect, and collaboration. For couples, I draw on the Gottman Method, offering structured, evidence based tools that strengthen communication, repair trust, and deepen emotional connection. This flexible integration allows therapy to adapt to the person or couple, not the other way around.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Clients often begin to sense progress when they start to feel safer, more understood, and more connected to themselves within the therapeutic space. Sometimes this happens in the very first session, when they realise they no longer have to carry their struggles alone. For others, it comes as subtle shifts: a calmer body, a new insight, or a moment where an old trigger feels less powerful. Progress can also show up in daily life, such as responding differently to stress or feeling more compassionate toward oneself. I remind clients that healing is rarely linear; it unfolds at the pace their mind and body are ready for. My role is to support those moments of change, helping them recognise and build on the small but meaningful steps forward.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Therapy has had a profound impact on my own life and on my ability to remain present and effective as a counsellor. Engaging in my own therapeutic work allows me to process experiences, reflect deeply, and stay grounded—both personally and professionally. It helps me maintain emotional clarity and self awareness, which are essential for holding space for others in a safe and ethical way. Ongoing therapy also reminds me what it feels like to sit in the client’s chair: the vulnerability, courage, and trust that healing requires. This experience keeps me humble, compassionate, and fit to practice, ensuring I can offer the same level of care and authenticity that has been so meaningful in my own journey.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  What I love most about being a therapist are the quiet, powerful moments when something shifts for a person; when they see a situation, memory, or part of themselves with new clarity. It’s a privilege to witness those turning points, when pain begins to make sense, or hope reappears after feeling lost. I also value the trust that grows in the counselling relationship, where people feel safe enough to explore the parts of their story they’ve kept hidden. Every session reminds me of human resilience and the deep capacity we all have to heal, reconnect, and grow. Those moments of insight and relief are what make this work profoundly meaningful to me.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Even on the days when my hair won’t cooperate, there’s always something to look forward to: a good coffee, a strong cup of tea, or the quiet reward of seeing someone take a step forward in their healing. In my practice, the kettle is never far away, ready when needed. Those small rituals remind me that life isn’t about perfection; it’s about learning to sit comfortably with a bit of discomfort, knowing that peace often grows in those in-between spaces. A good brew, a deep breath, and a touch of humour usually help to bring everything back into balance.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  I believe one of the most significant problems we face today is the loss of genuine connection: to ourselves, to others, and to our communities. Many people are moving through life feeling overstimulated, isolated, and unseen. We often prioritise productivity over presence, and in doing so, drift away from what gives life meaning: authentic relationships, self understanding, and belonging.
  
  When we experience trauma, that disconnection can deepen. The body and mind can become frozen in the moment of pain, reacting as if the threat is still present even years later. We might keep functioning on the surface, but part of us stays stuck in that old time and place. Healing involves gently thawing those frozen parts, helping the nervous system and the self to remember that the danger has passed. Through reconnection, both inwardly and outwardly, people begin to reclaim safety, meaning, and life in the present moment.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  One work that continues to inspire me is The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune, a story about kindness, acceptance, and the quiet courage it takes to truly see and love others as they are. It reminds me that healing often begins when someone feels understood and safe enough to be themselves. I also find endless inspiration in Dead Poets Society and the poetry of John Keats, both capture the ache and beauty of being human, the tension between vulnerability and passion, and the transformative power of connection. In art, I’m drawn to the contemplative stillness of works by Claude Monet and the emotional depth of Vincent van Gogh, both of whom painted light and shadow in a way that feels deeply alive. Together, these works remind me that creativity and compassion are inseparable; they’re how we make meaning, and how we find our way back to ourselves and to one another.