Sharing The Same Therapist Makes Me Feel On Edge.

Question: I found out from my sister that our cousin has made an appointment with the same therapist that I’ve been seeing for the past few months. We live in a country town so there are not a lot of counsellors to choose from. I didn’t say anything at the time but the thought of sharing the same therapist with someone from my close knit family makes me feel on edge. Is it normal to feel this way or am I just being weird about it?

Answer: It’s completely normal to feel this way. Good therapy is built on trust and safety and that includes knowing that what you share remains confidential, amongst other things. I would recommend talking to your therapist directly about this and/ or getting curious about what exactly the “on edge” feeling is about. Are you worried that the therapist might share your information with your cousin, or are you concerned that the therapist might get to know things about your family and context that you would otherwise choose not to tell them? Or something else? An ethical therapist won’t share your info, but there are other complexities. I used to work in a regional service where it was common that our team was working simultaneously with best friends, partners, ex-partners, family members etc. It takes awareness as a therapist to remain neutral when someone is talking about a conflict and you also know the other people involved. But it mostly still worked OK for everyone. I consistently reminded my clients that anything they shared stayed between us, and they experienced consistently that I would never share anything about other people with them. Sometimes it was awkward if people ran into each other at the office and didn’t know the other one used the service, and sometimes we really had to make sure people didn’t run into each other at the office because of known histories of abuse or violence. I’m not saying this applies to you at all, and it’s of course impossible for me to know what’s best for you in your situation. But no, I don’t think you’re being weird about it at all.

Answer provided by Jaclyn Cunningham, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker