Ben Burns

A conversation with Ben Burns

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  The path to Counselling was influenced from having a really positive experience with a 'spiritual director' - who acted similar to a Counsellor and I found incredibly helpful.
  
  From then, the idea really started to come into focus when I became involved in mens work. I was part of putting together contemporary rites of passage programs for young men as well as running a mens circle and regular retreats, which led me to consider more ways to support people.
  
  Then a Counsellor friend of mine encouraged me to study Counselling - so I did!

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  I'm a big fan of CG Jung and the analytic tradition - particularly the notion of a 'guiding' SELF aspect. This, along with Jung's exploration of dreams and archetypes have been a crucial framework for my understanding of how us humans tick.
  
  I have subsequently been influenced by the 'Mytho-poetic' Mens Movement, which again, was strongly Jungian, and is interested in keeping alive the impact that mythology coupled with poetry can inform and provide meaning within our lives.
  
  I love exploring ideas of consciousness, including non-duality and buddhist concepts and this has evolved from my experiences in meditation.
  
  I'm currently enthralled with the Gestalt notion of the 'field' - the idea that we can be in tune with a persons 'field' and if we achieve that alignment, magic happens!

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I've been fascinated with the experience of mid-life and the many transitions and changes that are available to us during these middle years. Which also means we can miss the opportunity for change too.
  
  We have Universities for arriving into our young adult lives, but no school for the second half of life. This intrigues me.
  
  I'm interested in finding purpose and a life that 'feels' aligned with who we are. I am beginning to see the ways this is possible, more and more, even despite the pressures and constrictions of modern life. I sense that there is a 'particular' thing we are all here for, that only we can do.
  
  I notice that our 'mental health' (by which I mean, the experience we have of our minds) is similar to physical health and its best not to pursue stability but more to embrace the changes.

• What methods do you use?

  I really enjoy the approach of Internal Family Systems, which suggests we are made up of many 'parts' that are trying to help us. At times, however, certain parts unwittingly over-work and need encouragement to rest!
  
  This method has a beautiful concept of the capital 'S' Self, which is the YOU that should be in charge. We know when this is present by the 8 C's:
  
  Calmness, Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Clarity, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness
  
  I also use Gestalt approaches, Family Constellation, Symbol Work and Sand Play as well as Imaginal work.
  
  I endeavour to bring the WHOLE person into the picture and often therapy is a process of becoming reacquainted with our body.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  I'm uneasy with the language of 'progress' as so many of my clients believe they aren't good enough. They believe they need to prove themselves and that their value is only based on their contribution. Progress can feel like yet another pressure. The message can be that you aren't good enough - you need to do MORE - You need to PROGRESS!
  
  I say RUBBISH to all that. You are exactly where you should be. Right here, is where you need to focus on - not some place in the future that you can progress too.
  
  To provide, a more satisfying response, I might say that when we come into 'contact' with the source of a discomfort and meet it and experience it - something changes.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Therapy has provided space and a safe container to revisit and unpack some difficult experiences in my childhood in a way that has brought about a sense of unburdening and subsequent increased ease in my system.
  
  I have enjoyed Equine Therapy, Sand Tray, Guided Imagery and Music, IFS modalities and other therapeutic approaches.
  
  Each offer something particular and I have found that therapy has brought clarity, resolution and at times deep, inexplicable calm.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I just love that I get to do this work. It is such a privilege to be able to guide and support someone to that A-HA moment.
  
  I get to witness people finding insight and relief and the unburdening of long held pain, sadness or confusion.
  
  I love it when a persons body changes - the great softening of tension, the deep sigh the tears of new hope and the sense of spaciousness and possibility. Nothing better.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Who told you?
  
  My worst experiences are when I think this process is all about me and that I need to make something happen.
  
  I know this could sound like the common joke complaint when going to a doctor and the doctor asks YOU what you think is wrong with you! And you're desperate to have the Doctor offer expertise and knowledge. To say whats wrong.
  
  This is an important distinction. The therapeutic space is not 'medical' - but truly, I would consider a 'bad hair' day the times when I try too hard and fail to listen and respond to whats happening in the moment.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  That we have forgotten who we are.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Great Song:
  
  Everything Begins and Ends at Exactly the Right Time - Bluebottle Kiss