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Question:   Have you noticed that when something good happens, it is better if there is someone else present to share it with?  Although this is true for me, it doesn't sit with me philosophically.  I want to be able to see something beautiful and not have the experience diminished by the fact that I'm alone at the time.  I have travelled extensively overseas on my own and found that this afforded me the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted.  But more and more my focus is on being with someone.  This bothers me because I interpret it as a devaluation of my relationship with myself.  I've always believed my sense of self must take priority.  Is it possible I have outgrown this belief?  Or is it by necessity the healthier option?

Answer:  I love your philosophical questioning about relationships. It is a complex issue and I don't believe there is any one correct viewpoint. Increasingly, our society has developed a strong regard for independence, to the extent that dependence has almost become shameful. And yet it is in our deepest nature to depend on others, and to want to share our experiences. It is also our deepest nature to go inwards and relate intimately to our own being. To my mind, there is not an ideal prescription for balancing these 2 desires, as our needs may shift dramatically throughout the day and throughout our lifespan. Sharing experiences with another can enhance your relationship with yourself, as well as with them. In my view it really depends on where you focus your awareness. If the other becomes your sole focus, then this may devalue your sense of relationship to self - you may lose yourself, so to speak. However, if what you want is to share something with another more and more - then isn't this valuing your self and your needs? I would encourage you to follow yourself and trust yourself, that you can stay connected to yourself even in deep relationship. When in these situations, make a meditation of noticing how it feels to be with the other and notice what this brings to your relationship with self.

Answer provided by Michelle McClintock