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Question:  At a school reunion, I was obsessed with how two of my class mates whom I hadn't seen in 30 years were so easily recognisable. The rest of us were forced to say who we were. For many it was because of the extra kilos, but some who hadn't changed size much at all, still bore little resemblance to what they looked like when they were younger. We ended up talking about it around the table but other than the usual ageing factors (cigarettes, alcohol and sun exposure) we couldn't come up with a plausible explanation. I'm guessing that scientists have done research on this and thought you would know about it if they had. Does a person's psychological make-up come into it, or is it entirely an environmental/healthcare thing?

Answer (1)  I would think that lifestyle, environment, life events, medical and mental health histories as well as genetic inheritance would all contribute to the way people change in different ways and to differing degrees as we age. Individuals vary too in their pattern of ageing. A friend of mine had silver hair at age 23, a family trait, and not stress-induced. Some people seem to remain "eternally" youthful among their peers for decades to the admiration / frustration of their friends only to begin a more rapid transition at a later point in their lives. Conditions such as illness, loss and grief, mental illness, heavy manual work, and harsh climate all have an impact. Change is inevitable, so too with our bodies. Our media savvy society has a vested commercial interest in promoting youth and beauty. Less money-and-beauty obsessed cultures value the knowledge and experience of their older members and consult them as Elders for suggestions and guidance. Experience, good and bad, is the unavoidable consequence of ageing, and hopefully, a little more wisdom and self-knowledge, and a greater confidence to be ourselves, despite a pound or two or an extra wrinkle.

Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor

Answer (2)  Experience, the good stuff and the challenging stuff creates road maps on our faces and our bodies. What we ingest externally and internally will create stories on our faces and through our eyes. This is what makes for the richness of who we are. So glad to see you wrote that people had changed over the 30 years since you'd seen them. Would be great to hear the stories that go with the bodies and the faces. How did you recognise them?  best wishes, Shushann

Answer provided by Shushann Movsessian, Psychotherapist